Thanksgiving
Thanksgiving is here and, “I can’t wait to see everybody!”
I will be travelling back home to Grandma’s and Granny’s in Albany, GA. This is the place I was born. This is the place where my extended family gathers together each year to celebrate and get together.
But saying this phrase of seeing “everybody” jogs my memory back to High School, when I would be pleading with my parents ...to let me go to a function or party. My general argument went something like this, “But everybody is going to be there!?” My very practical father’s reply would generally be something like this, “Everybody? Not everybody will be there.”
Okay. Sometimes I have been known to exaggerate the size of crowd, especially as a pastor and minister. “Everybody” is never there. In fact, there are certain occasions where “everybody” gets together, that certain “somebody’s” stand out all the more, because they are not there.
In my line of work, exaggerations come and go, but in my line of work one point I have witnessed cannot be exaggerated enough: loss.
When we “all” gather together, sometimes it only serves to highlight the “somebody” who is not there.
Thanksgiving according to the hype of the day is supposed to be a joyful time of thanks giving where everyone is happy. But I know that for many of us, Thanksgiving sometimes is a reminder of family and friends who are no longer with us, or are no longer a present part of our families or circle of friends. This is simply put, one of the hardest facts of life in our gatherings together.
Last Christmas, I was in Kansas City with my wife’s family. Her Grandfather was passing away. Fortunately, he lived a long and honored life full of friends and family, and all who were closest to him got to say their goodbyes. However, I will never forget a phone call I received on Christmas Day from a dear friend and church member. “Daniel, Mom is dead.”
The night before, I had served his dear Mother Holy Communion at our Candle Light Christmas Eve Service. Less than 24 hours ago, I had seen her, hugged her, and expressed God’s great love to her. Then on this Christmas Day, I heard the chilling words that she had passed away.
For this family, and for my wife’s family, this will be one of the first major holidays where the gathering of “everybody” will not include “everybody”. In the midst of the joys of the holidays, I wanted to reach out to you and say that your pain is real, and that your pain is felt. The reality of loss is something that cannot be overlooked. It is felt when we stare blankly at that seat at the table that was once occupied by them. It is felt when we hear the silence that was once filled by their stories being told. It is sensed by that quiet look on each person’s face who wants to break down and cry about the loss that all feel and have, but none know how to express.
Yet I have a proposition for how you and your family may be able to express the feelings that you have. It is a simple question that I think we all should wrestle with. Maybe this “somebody” is gone from our midst, in the gathering of “everybody”. Maybe you wrestle with the question of how to celebrate the holidays without their presence. Maybe you wrestle with the question of how to live life in the reality of their absence. And this leads us to the exact question that I propose.
“How can I and all gathered here, live our lives in honor of the life that they lived?”
Life is precious. Life is short. Life matters. Your life matters. So live it to the fullest. Love to the fullest. And above all, be thankful.
Pastor Daniel Ivey
Daniel.ivey@flumc.org
Thanksgiving is here and, “I can’t wait to see everybody!”
I will be travelling back home to Grandma’s and Granny’s in Albany, GA. This is the place I was born. This is the place where my extended family gathers together each year to celebrate and get together.
But saying this phrase of seeing “everybody” jogs my memory back to High School, when I would be pleading with my parents ...to let me go to a function or party. My general argument went something like this, “But everybody is going to be there!?” My very practical father’s reply would generally be something like this, “Everybody? Not everybody will be there.”
Okay. Sometimes I have been known to exaggerate the size of crowd, especially as a pastor and minister. “Everybody” is never there. In fact, there are certain occasions where “everybody” gets together, that certain “somebody’s” stand out all the more, because they are not there.
In my line of work, exaggerations come and go, but in my line of work one point I have witnessed cannot be exaggerated enough: loss.
When we “all” gather together, sometimes it only serves to highlight the “somebody” who is not there.
Thanksgiving according to the hype of the day is supposed to be a joyful time of thanks giving where everyone is happy. But I know that for many of us, Thanksgiving sometimes is a reminder of family and friends who are no longer with us, or are no longer a present part of our families or circle of friends. This is simply put, one of the hardest facts of life in our gatherings together.
Last Christmas, I was in Kansas City with my wife’s family. Her Grandfather was passing away. Fortunately, he lived a long and honored life full of friends and family, and all who were closest to him got to say their goodbyes. However, I will never forget a phone call I received on Christmas Day from a dear friend and church member. “Daniel, Mom is dead.”
The night before, I had served his dear Mother Holy Communion at our Candle Light Christmas Eve Service. Less than 24 hours ago, I had seen her, hugged her, and expressed God’s great love to her. Then on this Christmas Day, I heard the chilling words that she had passed away.
For this family, and for my wife’s family, this will be one of the first major holidays where the gathering of “everybody” will not include “everybody”. In the midst of the joys of the holidays, I wanted to reach out to you and say that your pain is real, and that your pain is felt. The reality of loss is something that cannot be overlooked. It is felt when we stare blankly at that seat at the table that was once occupied by them. It is felt when we hear the silence that was once filled by their stories being told. It is sensed by that quiet look on each person’s face who wants to break down and cry about the loss that all feel and have, but none know how to express.
Yet I have a proposition for how you and your family may be able to express the feelings that you have. It is a simple question that I think we all should wrestle with. Maybe this “somebody” is gone from our midst, in the gathering of “everybody”. Maybe you wrestle with the question of how to celebrate the holidays without their presence. Maybe you wrestle with the question of how to live life in the reality of their absence. And this leads us to the exact question that I propose.
“How can I and all gathered here, live our lives in honor of the life that they lived?”
Life is precious. Life is short. Life matters. Your life matters. So live it to the fullest. Love to the fullest. And above all, be thankful.
Pastor Daniel Ivey
Daniel.ivey@flumc.org
